For those of you who regularly read this blog, you will note that I have not featured on it since my early blogs when it started, just over a year ago.
As the long suffering wife of Mark, I thought I had deftly sorted the problem of having a ‘retired’ husband aged 46 hanging around at home all day. To the cries from my friends of ‘we’ll have a snitch among us, relaying our every move to our husbands’ – I came up with a cunning plan. Enthusiastically support his bizarre idea to go back to college full time to study ‘viticulture’ (what’s that?) for 2 years and to buy a farm and plant a vineyard. Problem solved.
However, what that’s they say about the best-laid plans? At first it seemed quite amusing – 5am discussions about the number of snail species on the South Downs – did you know or care that there are over a 100? No, well neither did I. Then there were the hours of shouting at the computer to contend with as he tackled wine posters and modern technology, combined with proof reading essays on vine moths (I live in a household of dyslexics) and long (one sided) conversations on the intricacies of malolactic fermentation (don’t ask!)
All of this I could just about cope with along with 4 children (don’t believe anyone when they say they get easier with age,) an MA of my own and a part time job devising an education programme for dyslexic children but then there was the vineyard to contend with. In an earlier life I was a city solicitor for my sins and whilst I was whispering ‘are we insured,’ ‘have you asked a lawyer?’ and ‘where’s the contract?’ I started to find things creeping onto my desk. CV’s, employment contracts, planning papers (what do they say in Harry Potter – he who must not be named!), trade mark applications – the list went on and on. Pillow talk took on a new meaning as every issue to do with the vineyard passed over it.
It came to a head in December as Mark waved yet another pile of ‘can you just’ jobs at me as I was dishing up dinner. Admittedly I had had a day pretty much to myself, which meant I’d fitted in a yoga class and had a quick sandwich with some mates but I was reaching the end of my tether. As we were dishing out jobs, I pointed out that not one Christmas present had been bought by him to say nothing of the million and one jobs in the house that had somehow made the way to the bottom of his never ending list.
That’s when I brought out my piece de resistance! I had purchased some particularly tacky snow globes for each of our 4 children. All I needed was for a delightful picture of us happily together to be found, printed off and put in each one. Once that was done – I would happily look at the waving pile of paperwork.
Suffice it to say, it was a particularly difficult negotiation which saw the usual cycle of husband:wife arguments – shouting, silence, sulking, more shouting, apology (he’s good at that), compromise and peace.
The upshot is – I am now ‘in’ having agreed to devote 2 full days a week to developing our vineyard, dedicated time to concentrate on all the issues and to be appreciated and acknowledged for having done so.
Oh – did I say that he promised me a fabulous trip to South Africa to tour vineyards?! More on this in my next blog!
PS. Actually, the snow globes job never was completed.
PPS. Maybe we just didn’t have a happy picture of us as a couple to go in the snowglobes?? You’d think we would – we’ve been married 25 years this July!!